Mariko and Tuan's Sea to Sky intimate elopement wedding
I’ve always loved travel stories. Listening to tales about exotic places I’ve never seen and imagine what it must be like to experience those exotic sounds, smells and tastes. I started traveling myself pretty frequently as soon as I reached age of majority. Luck would have it that I met a partner who shared my passion for adventure: Tanja and I went on our first city trip together (to Barcelona) when we were dating for 2 months. Eventually we’d move together from Belgium to Vancouver, Canada.
Being adventurous is what defines us. It’s our core, and we love celebrating it. Not just between the two of us, but even more with our clients. And when we met Mariko and Tuan, we could immediately tell that these two were adventurous to the bone.
Tuan grew up in Toulouse, France, but went traveling around the world as soon as he could, and ended up living in Australia for a couple of years. Meanwhile, Mariko was born and raised in Japan, and started journeying herself.
On an eventful day, the two happened to stay in the same youth hostel in Perth, Australia, and crossed each other’s path in the lobby. They started talking and hit it off. Pretty soon they were traveling together, and eventually moved to Canada, first to Whitehorse, YK and to Vancouver, BC next.
When they were looking into getting married, they knew they wanted to get married in a significant place that symbolized who they are. And when Mariko found out about popup weddings organized by Cahoots Creative at the Sea to Sky Gondola in Squamish, BC, she knew it was the perfect solution.
Mariko and Tuan got married on a warm Summer day, last August. It was small and all the more beautiful. One couple, four guests, sharing pure, uninhibited emotions. The excitement and the tension that hung on the aisle just before Mariko’s dad walked her down. The way Tuan’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw her. The tenderness as he gently took her hand. The guests allowing tears to flow freely. And the money tree where Mariko and Tuan put a sample of dirt of their respective birth countries.
I loved every part of it, and felt honored to be there. Thank you, Mariko and Tuan. Stay amazing!
Sea to Sky intimate elopement photos
Sea to Sky intimate elopement vendors
- Planners and event designers: Cahoots Creative
- Venue: Sea to Sky Gondola
- Florist: Our little flower company
- Decor rentals: Bon Accord
- Officiant: Cory Dueck from Young, Hip & Married
- Cake artist: Xoco Chocolate
Exploring Tofino's Long Beach
It was our last day at the ‘real’ West Coast, so we wanted to experience what the Tofino craze is all about: Long Beach, Canada’s (only?) surfing hot spot and part of Pacific Rim National Park. As soon as I heard the name I remembered it from one of my first photography books. In my early days, I only did nature photography, because it wasn’t as intimidating as people. Back then I thought I’d probably never visit it. Yet here I was, threading the sands of Long Beach. Strange what curves life can take :)
We’d barely scrambled over the pile of logs that was blocking the beach entrance, when threatening clouds blew in from the ocean and covered the sky. It didn’t take long for pellets of hail to follow, but for once they went as fast as they came, and the clouds made way for some gorgeous dramatic skies. Tanja went crazy with excitement. For the next minutes, all I could hear was the shutter of the camera and Tanja cursing when a distant hiker wouldn’t stay in place for her composition. Myself, I had a blast with unleashing my inner mountain goat and getting on top of giant rocks. I’ve got to admit: Long Beach is amazing. As good as Oregon Coast.
Tonquin Beach
Next, Tanja found us a gorgeous little hike at Tonquin Beach on the West side of the peninsula. And finally we took a look at the Pacific rainforest, adjacent to the beach. Strangely enough, the highway splits the park into two chunks. And each part “has a distinct character of vegetation and growth.” Put differently, they look and feel a lot different from each other. Don’t be fooled into thinking you only want to see one part. It’s worth visiting both. The part that’s closest to the beach (and holds the parking lot) feels a lot younger and wilder, whereas the chunk across the highway holds all the giant trees. The latter was my abolute favorite, because of the similar but more intense atmosphere of Cathedral grove. Everywhere I looked, I could feel life moving at its own speed. Faster for some, and a lot slower for others. “Fascinating”, David Attenborough would probably whisper while gesturing vigorously :).
For the remainder of the day we drove back to Port Alberni, where our car camping adventure started over by finding a suitable overnight parking spot. Only this time, we settled for the easiest solution: Walmart.
Elk Falls Provincial Park
It was Sunday morning and we planned on spending another night on Vancouver Island. So there was no rush to get to our next location: Campbell River. Tanja had stumbled on raving reviews of the waterfalls in Elk Falls Provincial Park which seemed a great idea. While cruising along the highway we noticed signs to Little Qualicum Falls Provincial Park and decided to check it out. The park turned out to be a hidden gem, because the falls are certainly not little.
Next we continued to Elk Falls where under a heavy downpour we hiked along the Canyon view trail and gazed at the enormous cascade from the new viewing platform and suspension bridge. Our clothes were thoroughly soaked by the time we got back to the car but we refused to give in. Adventure must prevail. So we set course for the nearby Strathcona Dam, not expecting the drive would be so interesting. Snow fell, the gravel road turned out littered with potholes and a tree had fallen across it (I unsuccessfully tried to push it aside). But it was worth the effort: the 360 degree view on top of the dam was spectacular.
Change of plans
In the late afternoon we returned to Campbell River to reheat our chilled bodies over coffee. It was time for a long hard look at our situation and our plans for the next day. Initially we planned on visiting Horne Lake Caves but when Tanja found out about the spider-ridden caves, it was an immediate no-go. On top of that, we were cold, rained-out and tired. And no improvement was forecasted. Simultaneously we admitted that we’d had enough and were ready to go home. Funny enough, we had both been hanging in because we didn’t want to disappoint each other. We’d barely spoken the words when we ran to the car and sped to the highway. This while excited about the outlook to sleep in our warm, dry bedroom that night. Our West Coast road trip adventure was amazing. And so was coming home to our zen living room and home-cooked meals :).
Car camping in Ucluelet
A strange barking broke the silence in the tiny harbor. It reached our car and woke us up from a peaceful sleep. My brain refused to accept what it thought to be the source of the sound. That barking, it couldn’t be. I looked at Tanja and said: “Did that sound like sea lions to you?”, to which Tanja replied "now do you see why I couldn't go to the washroom by myself?", remembering me that we had indeed heard it too on our walk to the washroom the night before. We settled on the conclusion that yes, it had to be sea lions. The night before we had checked into a virtually empty camp ground next to the harbor, and picked a spot by the waterfront.
Wild Pacific Trail in Ucluelet
After Tanja got us past the find-coffee-hurdle we drove to the coastline for a hike along Ucluelet’s Wild Pacific trail. Storm season was coming to an end, but we witnessed the tail of it. Rough ocean waves crashing on the rocks, rain whipping our faces and a chilling wind. We persevered gladly and let the elements cleanse us from the built-up stress from the past few months.
Tofino
In the early afternoon we headed to our next West Coast location: Tofino. Because of all I’d heard about this coastal town, I’d built up a picture of Tofino being a ‘hipster colony’ by the Pacific Ocean, full of bearded men in yellow raincoats that fill their days with looking sternly into the distance and pondering over craft beers. For once reality did not seem far off my mental image. (Luckily I learned about Tofino's true beauty the day after.)
Our visit that day encompassed little more than eating a portion of overpriced, mediocre poutine in a waterfront pub and trying to find a legal shelter for the night which turned to be a challenge of its own. Intimidated by the countless ‘no overnight parking’ signs, we felt torn between overpriced (and practically booked out) camp grounds and even more expensive hotels. Darkness came faster than expected, urging us to opt for hidden alternative #3: a Hotwire deal in Ucluelet, which turned out to be a luxurious suite almost next to our ‘wakeup call’ sea lions.
After having been rained out and car-bound for three days, waking up under a warm blanket in a dry, quiet room felt heavenly. Knowing the weather wasn’t planning on changing any time soon, made moving back into the car slightly harder than before. I got the most out of our room, by checking out minutes before the deadline. Meanwhile Tanja had discovered the infamous sea lions. The rowdy pack was lounging on a tiny rock island the harbor, but unfortuntaly too far away to get a decent picture.
More to come :)
Road trip across Vancouver Island
Thick raindrops hammered on the windshield as we weaved through the rush hour traffic. We’d just missed the last ferry to Vancouver Island, and were told we could still catch another one in the other terminal. Except we’d have to drive from the Northern edge of Metro Vancouver, to the Southern one, in less than an hour. “Challenge accepted” I shouted. 50 minutes later we were the last car to drive onto the ferry. But we made it. Our road trip adventure had started.
A few weeks ago, Tanja and I were in dire need of nature therapy. We’d been living in the cold glare of our computer screens for way too long, again. Despite previous resolutions, it continues to happen: work sneaks in and takes over. Finding a balance is still one of our main challenges. But it’s never too late to start over and do better. So we decided to go on a road trip to the West Coast, and to add some adventure to the experience we planned on camping in our car. It’d be a first for us, sleeping in the car. Other than one freezing night on a Tim Hortons parking lot in Golden, BC during our Winter Rocky Mountains road trip we’d never actually done it. Our amazing Irish friends (and clients) Andrea and Eoin were so generous to donate their ‘car camping bed’ (a giant piece of foam). After a little trimming it fit our Ford Escape perfectly.
It was Wednesday, late night, when Tanja drove the car off the ferry and took us to Qualicum Beach. Finding an overnight parking however, was a different story. Neither of us had any experience with ‘the hunt for the perfect spot’, and we didn’t feel like a rough wakeup call in the middle of the night. Drifting from deserted shopping mall parking lots to a creepy looking camping in a BC Provincial Park (and not having any cash on us to pay the mandatory fee), to a residential neighborhood, we finally settled on a parking lot next to the old Island Highway.
The next morning we woke up to the sound of the rushing waves. Nothing had happened during the night. Even when we took our ‘morning view from the bed’ picture the dog walkers didn’t pay any attention to us. But then came the next hurdle of car camping: coffee.
Coffee turned out to be a true catch–22. For us, to drive safely we’d need coffee, yet acquiring said coffee required driving. Google Maps was a life-saver. Not only did it manage to translate my clumsily typed ‘cpdfea’ into ‘coffee’, it took us to the best coffee place in Qualicum Beach: Creekmore’s Coffee Roasting Co. Greeted by two mildly-interested lama’s in a neighboring pasture, we enjoyed a cup of wonderfully named Toucan Dance. Guess what this dark roast’s logo was…
Cathedral Grove
Meanwhile the weather had cleared up and we hurried to get to Cathedral Grove, home to some of the Island’s oldest and tallest cedars and firs. Ever since moving to BC I’m amazed by the unique energy and history that lingers in old-growth forests. Few things make me feel as humble as an 800 year old giant tree, that has survived all that nature has thrown at it. After a quick lunch break in Port Alberni (an Australian themed diner, highly recommended) and goofing around at a nearby lake with pier, we journeyed across Vancouver Island to the West Coast.
It was early afternoon when we parked the car near Ucluelet’s old lighthouse. As soon as I opened my door, I heard the thundering and roaring I remember from our amazing road trip to the Oregon Coast. How I love those sounds.
We hurried through the tree line, and there it was: the Pacific Ocean, powerful and energetically pounding on the rocky coastline. It’s exactly what we came for. Tanja and I hiked along the coastal trail of the peninsula, taking our time to unwind and reflect. Work seemed miles away.
That night, we decided to set up camp on an official campground. The rain was pouring again, and we needed a hot shower. Sometimes, convenience wins over adventure.
More to come :)
Nichole and David's Sea to Sky Summit wedding
Nichole took her dad’s arm and together they stepped onto the suspension bridge. An almost never-ending aisle that would lead them to the small lookout platform. David excitedly tried to catch a glimpse of his cloud-veiled bride. When their faces met, her eyes sparked with joy.
It had been since last August when Tanja and I photographed a wedding at the Sea to Sky Gondola in Squamish, BC. An early Spring day prooved a completely different experience at this venue compared to the peak of Summer. The forecasted rains luckily never came, but instead a thick blanket of clouds lingered around the lodge for the entire wedding. Hoping for it to clear, we embraced the mysterious and serene quality it gave to the natural scenes.
As for Nichole and David, what an amazing duo! Avid hiking (and Crossfit for Nichole!) fans themselves, they liked to our spontaneous and adventurous nature. Back when they lived in Vancouver, they frequently visited the Sea to Sky Summit as one of their favorite hiking locations. Meanwhile they had both moved across the world (Nichole first to London, followed by Tokyo where David was already living). But they still decided to come back for their nature themed wedding to Beautiful British Columbia, where it all started.
Tanja and I loved the spontaneous elements throughout their wedding day. There was the guest of honor, Russ the teddy bear, together with his pet bee, that David gave to Nichole on their first date. He joined the entire event, just like Tanja and I are usually joined by Cedric, our stuffed skunk (which interestingly enough, we got at the gift shop of the Sea to Sky Summit, must be something about that place :)). Best of all though, was the wedding party suggesting to throw snowballs. “Go for it!” Tanja and I simultaneously shouted out. How we love these moments :)
Nichole and David, thanks again for having us on your unforgettable day. Stay spontaneous and adventurous!
Are you considering a wedding in Squamish or the Sea To Sky? Get in touch with us today and ask about our packages!
Joan and Steve's Sea To Sky elopement
Tanja and I got out of the car at the Sea to Sky basecamp. Although it would be a hot Summer day, the morning greeted us with a chilling breeze. I shut the trunk and grabbed the handle of the duffle bag that held our lighting gear. It weighed a ton. Tanja had already gone ahead to the gondola that would bring us up the mountain. My stomach felt tense and excited at the same time, like it always does when I’m about to perform. How I love that feeling.
Last August Tanja and I cooperated on a series of elopement weddings, called Wedfest Pop Up Weddings by Cahoots Creative. Several couples had the opportunity to get married in a spectacular location together with their most important guests.
One of the couples we had the joy of working with that day, were Joan and Steve. Two beautiful, lovely people that share our love for adventure and hiking in nature. They had even hiked up the Sea to Sky Summit trail months earlier, not knowing they’d be back so soon. Tanja and I have yet to hike the trail, but it’s on our to-do-list :)
Joan and Steve lucked out on the timing of their wedding. They were the last couple of the day to get married on the deck of the Sea to Sky Summit. The sun had already began to set behind the mountains, when the couple spoke their vows. And by the time they'd crossed the suspension bridge (kudos to Joan for doing so in high heels!) they were surrounded by stunning purples and oranges, reflecting on the water of the Howe Sound. A familiar view to them, but this time as husband and wife.
A special thank you to Joan and Steve for being such amazing people to work with.
We're also proud to say this wedding was featured on Junebug Weddings. Accomplishing that goal was something we've been working towards for the longest time. So yay :)!
Sea to Sky elopement photos
Sea to sky elopement vendors
- Planners and event designers: Cahoots Creative
- Venue: Sea to Sky Gondola
- Florist: Our little flower company
- Decor rentals: Bon Accord
- Officiant: Cory Dueck from Young, Hip & Married
- Cake artist: Xoco Chocolate
Harbir + Jivie's Cancun destination wedding
What do you think when you hear: a Sikh Cancun destination wedding? Tropical paradise, pearl-white beaches and endless cocktails? That's what Harbir and Jivie did too when they decided to have their wedding ceremony at Now Sapphire resort in Cancun, Mexico. Unfortunately Cancun disagreed.
The wedding day
It started on Wednesday morning. Harbir and Jivie had just taken a spontaneous dive in the Caribbean Ocean to rinse off the turmeric of their traditional Mayian ceremony when the dark clouds started rolling in. And for the next two days torrential rainfall and winds took over. Literally, because most of the resort's buildings were pillared galleries that flooded in no time.
Despite it all, Harbir and Jivie remembered the words Harbir's dad had spoken just two days before: "life is an adventure: you never know what's going to happen, so better go with the flow." Which is exactly what they did. The remaining wedding events were moved into the resort's ballroom where the guests had just as much (if not more) of a good time. This was certainly thanks to the amazing DJ the couple had imported from Vancouver (check out High Voltage).
As for the photos that were planned to be taken on the beaches of Cancun? We had dramatic light falling in beautiful long galleries and cool looking buildings. Plenty enough for us. The stone dragon heads were just icing on the proverbial uhm ... 'bouquet shot'. Going with the flow is friggin' awesome! If it wasn't for the bad weather we wouldn't have discovered all the amazing nooks and crannies the inside of the resort had to offer :).
The day after
The day after the wedding the sun finally broke through the clouds, which worked out perfectly for Harbir and Jivie who got to enjoy some quality time with their guests, including a boat trip to a nearby island! (too bad we were back in Vancouver by than!)
Thank guys for bringing us with you to Cancun!
By the way, we'd love to see the footage of the GoPro-on-a-tequila-bottle that was passed around the dance floor :).
Cancun destination wedding photos
Spontaneous road trip and adventure hike to Joffre Lakes
Two weeks ago Tanja and I jumped in the car for a spontaneous road trip to Joffre Lakes in Pemberton, BC. With the Summer months the wedding season is in full swing in Vancouver. We had been photographing weddings non stop since the beginning of June and the need for some "nature therapy" was high.
The 3-hour drive through British Columbia's scenic landscapes was the best way to start our 'recovery' day. And because it was such a remote location we were guaranteed to have a more adventurous experience. Hiking just isn't the same when around every corner you bump into someone taking a selfie. ;)
Hiking? Us? Absolutely, it's our new favorite hobby. It started a few months ago. A good month into wedding season we both felt in need of finding a way to recover from the inevitable post-wedding physical soreness (the infamous 'wedding hangover' as wedding photographers love calling it). Crossfit works wonders, but we felt in need of more. Something to reset our minds. Like walking in nature. Back in Belgium, I used to hate walking with a vengeance. The nature didn't feel like nature: too small, too unchallenging and too unrewarding.
Apparently living in Vancouver for (almost) four years changed me without me realizing it. At first I was reluctant to accept Tanja's proposal of going on a hike. But once we were actually on the trail I felt like a kid in a vast unexplored playground. Tree trunks and rocks to climb over, the surprise of encountering animals I've never seen before and stunning scenery. Every bend of the trail is a new adventure.
Though the best part of it all, is how it recovers us. There's something about being surrounded by nature that soothes the mind and brings it back to its natural state of wellbeing. In the first hour of a hike all I think of is putting one foot in front of the other. It's all that exists for me. Tanja and I don't say much during that time. We understand each other silently, so good that we even pause at the same times to look at the surrounding nature. And slowly, the stress melts away and makes space for conversation. So we talk about anything: business, life, our hopes and dreams. It's also at those times that we have the best ideas.
The road trip and hike to Joffre Lakes were just for pleasure though. We needed it more than ever after working a double-header weekend (two weddings back-to-back). It's a hike that had been lingering in the back of our minds for a while, but somehow we never seemed to get it done. The three-hour drive (one way) always seemed to get in the way. But not on that Monday morning. Our gut told us we were out of excuses, so we hopped in the car and just went for it. It was a fantastic experience because we walked almost to the campground at the bottom of the glacier that feeds the Upper Joffre Lake.
I never thought to admit it, but hiking in the gorgeous nature surrounding Vancouver has become our new favorite hobby. We love it even more when we can mix our hobby into our work such as with an adventure experience.
What about you? What kind of adventures do you love doing as a mental reset?
Anca and Elis' wedding at Northview Golf & Country Club, Surrey
Anca and Elis. We still can't get over how good these two knew to party with their guests. And they had all the more reason. Over the past two years they got married three times in a row so they could celebrate it with all their family and friends who live across the world. Starting with a simple "I do" in Vancouver City Hall 2 years ago they followed it with a second wedding a year ago in Romania, Anca's country of origin. But the best was kept for last: a spectacular wedding day in Vancouver with their closest family and friends most of who flew in from Europe.
The day was filled with candid moments: Elis' got shaved by his cousins according to Albanian tradition (and they did one hell of a good job at it too), while Anca was enjoying herself with her 9 (!) bridesmaids. Which reminds me of what an incredibly graceful bride Anca was. Absolutely stunning!
We had a blast with the bridal party at Westminster Pier Park and the downtown area before heading over to the Holy Trinity Romanian church in New Westminster. Right after the church ceremony Anca and Elis had us sneak away with them to go hang a love lock at the Westminster Pier. How could we refuse, we're suckers for such spontaneous moments.
The night ended at Northview Golf & Country Club with a party to remember on the beats of both Latin dances as well as traditional Romanian and Albanian music. All night long we couldn't help thinking that Europeans do know how to throw a good party!
Anca and Elis, thank you SO MUCH for having us! It was amazing to be a part of your day!
Vendors
- Venue: Northview Golf & Country Club
- Church: Holy Trinity Romanian Orthodox Church
- Wedding dress: Lisa's Bridal Salon
- Groom's suit: Indochino
- Bridesmaid's dresses: Light in the Box
- Brides' shoes: Manolo Blahnik
- Florist: Sandra Der Woon
- Make-up bride/bridesmaids: Miss Silvia Makeup/Tianna Tran
- Hair stylists: Donna Dinh/Jenna
- Wedding cake: Delicious Creations
- DJ: Riddim & Beats by Ryan Marquard
Anca and Elis' engagement experience in Ambleside Park, West Vancouver, BC
Anca and Elis. How much we love these two! They booked us last year for their upcoming July wedding. But a couple of months ago, Anca contacted us with a cunning plan for Elis' birthday, which is today so congratulations Elis! She'd take him out for drinks, all dressed up under pretense of going on a dinner date. But what he didn't know was, that we'd meet them for a full-on engagement shoot. It took us the full three seconds to reply 'hell yeah, we're on board!'
And so last Sunday we sneaked up on the birthday boy and his fiancée while they were cozily enjoying cocktails in the sun. He didn't have a clue of what was going on. Perfect. Mission accomplished! Kudos to Anca for managing to keep it all a secret! Tanja can't keep secrets from me at all, somehow I seem to detect when she's planning something :)
We had a blast during the shoot. Both Anca and Elis looked stunning in their date-night clothing. What Elis didn't know was that we had another surprise waiting for him. Halfway the shoot he and Anca would change into the jerseys of their favorite soccer teams (Bayern München for Elis, Barcelona for Anca) and goof around with a ball. He didn't see it coming!
We ended the evening with a sunset walk along the beach of Ambleside Park, overlooking Lions Gate Bridge and Stanley Park.
Anca and Elis, thank you so much for the wonderful time. We can't wait to shoot your wedding in a month!
Surprised by soccer at an engagement shoot? Don't be! Tanja and I love adding your meaningful activity to engagement shoots because it makes for a unique experience. And don't hold back in choice of activity by the way. Give us your best shot, and let's do it together! We love a good adventure anytime :).
Hanne and Niels' couple shoot at Sundance Guest Ranch, Ashcroft, BC
We believe in starting over in a foreign country with your partner at least once. Words that we stand by because they define us. They've brought us to Vancouver, and made us to who we are. So whenever we meet a couple that shares this philosophy, we get excited. Extremely excited!
Introducing Hanne and Niels. Fellow Belgians, and a brave duo.
Two years ago, they embarked on a one-year journey that'd take them around the world. Once back home, they tried to pick up their old lives, but something felt off. It didn't feel right anymore. A nagging voice, that kept telling them there's more out there. On their journey they'd experienced how amazing the world can be, if you go out and explore it. At that point, they knew going back wasn't option anymore. And when you can't go back, there's only one way to go: forward. So they did.
On a whim they decided to move to Canada. Vancouver Island to be exact. One small detail: they had never been in all of North America at that point. Ever. Hearing about it in our first Skype call, I got instant goose bumps. These two were brave...
Flash forward a couple of months. They were here. In Vancouver. Ready to start their new adventure. Tanja and I picked them up from the airport, and gave them a quick tour through the city. A couple of days later they headed to a tiny town in the interior of British Columbia, Ashcroft, home of the Sundance Guest Ranch. For four weeks, they'd volunteer as staff members in return for accommodation and daily horse rides (not to mention countless country-style parties).
When they pitched that we should visit them, I didn't have to think long. And luck would have it, the owner of the ranch threw in some horse rides too! A free three-day Western style adventure, including horseback riding? Yes, please! Hell, we didn't even know Canada had its very own Wild West. A week later, we were riding our horses over the dusty hills, looking out over endless prairies. All I could hear, was the whistling of the wind in the endless sage brushes. I hadn't felt this alive in a long time.
Hanne and Niels, thank you for the amazing experience. We needed it. Sometimes you just need to jump in the car, and head out on an impromptu road trip.
We wish you all the best on your future ventures!
A spontaneous road trip to Oregon Coast
Waves raced towards us at a speed we could never outrun. They looked intimidating. Huge waves, rolling with a thunderous noise that abruptly ended in a crashing sound as they broke apart on the lonely rocks. We had never experienced the Pacific Ocean like this.
At the end of 2014, Tanja and I came to the conclusion that we hadn't taken a single 'personal' vacation throughout the year! Sure, we saw amazing places throughout British Columbia, but every single one of those trips was work-related. And that in the year where we'd experienced our busiest wedding season so far, and had gone through a big life and business make-over with coaching and Fight Club (see our previous blog post). No wonder we felt exhausted!
In the last days of December, Tanja and I decided on a whim we needed to get away from it all, and follow our own advice: take a spontaneous road-trip without booking hotels in advance.
Our first stop: Portland, the city that kept popping up as a must-see. What do we remember of it? Great craft beer places, and one hell-of-an-awesome paleo food restaurant. You may be thinking 'meh', but for us it's the holy grail we're always looking for when road-tripping. So hello new stop whenever we're driving South along the I-5. Other than that, Portland was... nice.
So on we went to the rugged, untamed beaches of the Oregon Coast. We didn't have a clue what to expect, but oh wow. Just oh wow.
To experience the raw, unfiltered Pacific Ocean. To see those fierce waves race towards you, and hear the thunderous rolling and loud crashing felt magical. Something we'll never experience at the shores of Vancouver, safely tucked away behind Vancouver Island.
On a grey, wet and cold Monday we arrived at the coast of Cape Kiwanda. It reflected how we felt. Exhausted, dull, empty.
The beach was deserted. It welcomed us. So we walked. Alone. For hours. Surrounded only by the loud thunder and crashing of the waves. We knew we'd find each other again. But we needed time first. To let our minds unfold. The price for running on empty for months on end.
In the next days, our moods changed in tandem with the weather. Drab, grey clouds made place for blue sky and sunshine, our lonely walks became spontaneous seagull chases, and we shared new ideas for our business over copious amounts of shrimp cocktail and seafood. Signs that we were healing.
On one of our last nights we went for a night-time beach-walk. Under an (almost) full moon, all we could hear was a soft rushing of the ocean. It felt magical.
Being authentically me
I need to tell you something. Here and now. On our blog. Unfiltered. So that I can’t hide it any longer in the dark nooks and corners of my mind, and fool myself into thinking I’m doing a good job. So here goes:
I have not allowed myself to be authentically me, I have kept myself from living unfiltered, spontaneous and unconventional
And here’s how the slow poison got to me. Every morning as I get up I feel ready to take on the world in an unfiltered, spontaneous and unconventional way. But as soon as I put on my clothes a sneaky voice starts whispering. It tells me not to push too hard, and not too make myself unloveable. So I unknowingly transform into a boring, all-around acceptable and bland version of me. Spontaneity turns into careful planning, unfiltered opinions get cleaned up. Because, what would people think of me?
Oh, how the voice loves to recite those six words: 'what would people think of me.
They hit bullseye every single time. I should ignore them, but I don’t. I allow them to get to me and nip my spontaneous and unconventional nature in the bud. All for the fear of not being loved. By you. I don’t want to give you any reason not to like me. Unfortunately it leaves me being an absolutely bland and overcooked version of myself, rather than the raw and juicy one, delicious for some, grizzly to others. I barely dare serving it to myself! No wonder I can’t seem to radiate my values to you!
But enough. No more. I’m done with it. To quote Jeff:
To be loved, you must risk being unloved.
If I want to celebrate my values with you, I must risk first. So today, I want to make a commitment, no a promise. I’m going to eat my own dog food: I want to start living authentically me.
I want to live unfiltered. I want to speak my mind, and no longer knead and mold my words and sentences to something I think you’d like to hear. It’s not fair. To you, and to me.
And I want to be spontaneous. To follow my gut, and act on what it tells me, regardless of how crazy it may seem at that time. I want to tell that nasty voice in my head to shut up, and that I won’t listen to it anymore.
But most important: I want to celebrate my unconventional lifestyle. I want to tell you how Tanja and I got an ice cream cake at our wedding, instead of a regular one. Because we weren’t cake fanatics, and we loved ice cream (and maybe we felt overwhelmed during the planning of our wedding, and just said yes to anything the catering offered us). Yes it was delicious, and yes we needed to hurry the cutting and eating.
I want you to know that we started crossfit six months ago (regardless of all the cruelty we heard), and how it’s been one of the toughest challenges in my life, but also one of the most fulfilling sports I have ever committed to. And now that I told you, I realize how stupid I was for thinking you’d give me weird look for it.
And I want to tell you that we started eating like cave people three years ago (call it the primal diet, the paleo diet, the caveman diet, or call it crazy, that’s ok too). I was afraid to tell you, and the world, about it, because I thought you’d think I was some weirdo. But here’s the deal: we decide to give it a try because the concept made sense to us and we’ve never felt better.
But most of all, I want you to know how serious I am about my intentions. After my realization this morning, I had a crossfit workout. When I pulled open my drawer to grab a T-shirt, only one was left. Tanja gave it to me a couple of months before we moved from Belgium to Vancouver, and despite the huge emotional attachment to it, I’ve always scared away from wearing it because of what it reads. As soon as I saw it, I could hear the voice in my head whisper: “don’t do it, what will people think of you”.
So I grabbed it and put it on. And I went to crossfit (with shaking knees, because that’s how hard this stuff is for me!). I didn’t get a single weird look. Only an interesting conversation about how I’m a photographer.
My first successful step to being authentically me. On to the next one.
Choosing to be independent
I had it all planned. A task schedule, deadlines, even a rough draft for this blog post. The only thing left, was to polish it up before publishing. I was rock solid. I thought. Only I wasn’t.
A month ago, Tanja and I launched our new brand, together with a make-over of this website. Out with the old, in with the new. We incorporated the 3 words that tell you what we stand for in life: candid, spontaneous, independent. And we planned to explain every word with a blog post. 'Candid' and 'Spontaneous' were already published, but when 'Independent' was due, I crashed. Hard.
I had been burning the midnight oil to get through the last of our end-of-season photography workload, when I caught a serious cold. Overnight I went from ‘worker bee’ to ‘leaking and sneezing bag of bricks’ that could hardly write an email, let alone a blog post. The sudden transition took me by surprise. During the Summer months, my life was work hard, play hard, and I loved every single bit of it, not thinking about the metaphorical tomorrow.
Today, a month later and finally back on my feet, it seems as if I woke up in a different world. Sitting at the dining table next to the heater, I look outside and see drab, grey skies and fall colored leaves. What happened? I had a plan! How could it go wrong?
I was going to tell you about being independent. About how Tanja and I had left our life and jobs in Belgium, and moved to Canada. How, with gleaming eyes, we had started our wedding photography business, and how we were supporting it with day jobs. About how they had turned into the same old energy-sucking parasites we once shed. And about how we had jumped off an unknown cliff, by both quitting the day jobs and focusing full time on our business (without having a single booking at the time). About how all of that symbolizes being independent for us.
Telling you about my past decisions feels superficial, because it's old news. I believe being independent is a choice I make every single day.
The confrontation with my limitations and the moral impact of the season's ending reminded me of how important my mindset is. I had allowed myself to be dragged into a vortex of negative thinking and fear. Suddenly I questioned everything I was doing, the direction of our business, our branding words and where it was all leading us to.
I couldn't get a single answer to all these questions, except for one: the question where listening to my fears would lead me to. My old way of living. I always walked down the beaten path because I didn't dare to explore alternatives. It brought me nothing but a burn-out. Ignoring fear, and choosing to listen to my gut feeling instead is what helped me turn my life around in the first place. So why would I doubt the voice of my internal compass?
Everything starts in my mind, regardless of external limitations. I can't allow fear to influence my decisions. Fear only serves itself. And it starts with choice. By choosing what I want in my life, I determine it. I have the choice of adhering to my fears, or listening to my gut and going my own way.
This is what being independent means to me. It’s about living in the mindset that I'm bound by nothing or no one. That whatever I want to accomplish, I can accomplish, as long as I set my mind to it. Sure the road to my chosen goals will be rough and full of setbacks. But I’ll be walking the road that I choose. Not one that I happen to find myself on.
I'll be walking the road that I choose. Not one that I happen to find myself on.
Being independent means more than deciding to move countries or quitting my job without direct financial outlooks. It means I choose to determine where I'm heading to in life. It means I choose to kick all limits to the curb, and define my own. It means that I choose to live life on my terms and don’t accept anything less.
Let's move across the world.
In the Summer of 2010, Tanja and I were enjoying our last day in Vancouver after traveling for 3 weeks through the Western US. During our road trip we had realized how unhappy we were about our lives as a lawyer and physiotherapist in Belgium. We knew we wanted change, just not how.
The next day we'd catch our flight to Belgium. I didn't look forward to it. In the past weeks I'd experienced a different kind of me: uninhibited, adventurous and playful. I liked 'vacation Jelger'. Unllike 'work Jelger' who was always serious, controlling and afraid. Whenever I'd go home after a vacation, part of me died, only to be revived on my next vacation.
While lounging on English Bay beach, we explored the idea of moving to Vancouver. And then it happened: I felt alive. A strange sensation of excitement took a hold of my body and a voice in my head screamed: "Yes, do it! Do it now!"
Tanja felt it too.
But we also felt hesitation. Worries. Fears. What about our family and friends? What about our cats? What about our careers in Belgium? More and more questions kept popping up. But none was as strong as "Do it!"
The first day of our new life.
Our last night, during the Celebration of Light fireworks, Tanja and I promised each other to quit our old lives in Belgium and move to Vancouver. We cried of joy and relief. It was the first day of our new life.
The next year would be a tough one. A year of overcoming administrative hurdles and riding an emotional roller coaster. We had to sell our two cars, all our furniture and say goodbye to family and friends. There were moments where I thought I couldn't continue, because it was too hard. But time and time again, there was that voice, that gut feeling that said: "keep going, you're on the right track".
On October 7, 2011, Tanja and I stood on the sands of English Bay beach, staring at the ocean. It was the same spot where a year before, we had promised each other to return. Only now, we were landed immigrants in Canada.
I've learned to trust the voice of my gut. Blindly. I've learned that it's the voice of 'vacation Jelger' that wants to enjoy life. Unlike the voice of my reason, it never betrays me. I've learned that it always tells me the best thing to do, and that it doesn't get influenced by fear.
Trusting our gut has taught us to live life to the fullest.
